I consider your latest action to be no less than an act of war. Your flagrant encroachment upon spring is inexcusable. Had I wanted to live in a locale where snow is acceptable on Mar 17 I would have gladly taken up residence in the fine state of Wisconsin or the Artic itself. (As a southerner it’s difficult to distinguish between the two.)
Therefore, we arming a militia with hair dryers and intend to meet you on the field of battle near Bella Vista.
Dear Sir we have simply had enough.
-A southerner ready for tulips and summer.